Kong – a noise trio from Manchester – say they are “a difficult band to describe unless you’re a music journalist, in which case you’d probably pick a large animal (elephant, dinosaur or a fantastical creature of myth) and put it in an unusual place (Middlesbrough) with predictably madcap results.” Well, we’re not going to fall into that trap, but rather warn you right now that this thrashing debut album is one confrontational beast. Melodies cack their pants while taking a back seat to relentless machinegun drums and Mclusky guitars. Tracks like the shredding ‘Leather Penny’ set the murderous, bloody scene; aggressive and void of reason, like a giant triceratops being refused booze at Sainsbury’s when a shag’s only on the cards if he gets his claws on some vodka…. oh shit!

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