“Forget about it honey, you’re telling me lies,” crowes Vinyl Stitches singer Claude, instantly making Jack White look like a garage band fraudster. Vocally, White has always over-egged the yankee blues pudding, sounding more like Zed from Police Academy than a man who really grew up listening to rare 7″s, but Claude – while as American as a scone dripped in earl grey around Queeny’s – appears to yelp like a lost Sonic. Drummer Sam Bam, then, is the Stitches’ own Meg, clattering around a precise area of her kit in primal fashion. And it sure does suit the Who-esque ‘Beautiful Mistake’, which jives about terrorising anyone not in a mini skirt or collar-less suit. But wait! It’s not the 60’s, and the kids are no longer alright. In 2009, miniskirts are for frigid, frumpy nuns; suits for estate agents and few others. True enough, but shame on us! In four tracks The Vinyl Stitches’ self-titled debut EP (packaged how they intend to be heard – on limited vinyl with a gaping jukebox spindle through the middle) proves that most new music is a load of ‘ol bobbins, and that those drawing inspiration from great garage bands are fudging the end result. You wouldn’t call your band The Vinyl Stitches unless you intended to shame a few peers now though, would you?

By Stuart Stubbs

More from
« Previous Album