Reviews have been rather kind to this remake of the early 80s Greek mythology epic, which seems somewhat strange when released in a week when it welcomes comparisons with Kick-Ass, a film that thoroughly underlines the flaws of big budget studio action movies like this by being so much better than 99% of them.  However, with the original being no masterpiece but looked back on warmly thanks to the creature work by stop-motion legend Ray Harryhausen, perhaps it’s fair that the remake should also be leniently reviewed, taken on its own merits rather than judged on any artistic level?  Unfortunately that’s an argument that falls flat when you’re presented with a film as half-hearted as Clash of the Titans 2010.

It might not be trying to be art, but then it doesn’t seem to be trying very much at all.  The epitome of the movie’s problems is the 3D: filmed in 2D, Warners decided on a 3D release well into the post-production process as a reaction to Avatar’s astounding success.  As a result, the rush-job conversion doesn’t have any of the finesse of movies that have been filmed specifically for the format – instead of the immersive effect of Avatar’s groundbreaking techniques, you have a basic two-layer effect which is rather like watching 2D cut-outs performing against a backdrop.  Indeed, remove your 3D glasses and you can see how basic it is – with the background being blurred but the ‘front’ layer being perfectly clear.  It’s tacked-on 3D gimmickry like this which has killed the format in the past, and it’s one that modern audiences just won’t stand for now that they’ve seen its real potential.  Whereas you wouldn’t resent paying extra for Avatar or Up in 3D, anyone paying more for Titans would rightly feel cheated.

The problems go further than that, from the lacklustre performances from much of the cast – epitomised by most of them not even bothering to disguise their own accents (and Sam Worthington’s not in any position to start phoning it in just yet) – to the CGI: whilst the scorpions and Kraken are impressive enough, neither of them ever feel like a genuine threat in the way the original’s tangibly ‘real’ creatures did.  That isn’t nearly as damaging as the balls-up director Louis Leterrier (Transporter 2, The Incredible Hulk) has made of Medusa though: whereas the highlight of the original movie was the creepy, tense section featuring the stop-motion snake-lady, the woeful CG in the unnecessarily frantic new take makes you long to be watching Harryhausen’s version.  Leterrier may have made a point of discarding the original’s annoying clockwork owl (the Jar Jar of its day) in an early in-joke moment, but the gesture turns out to be symbolic of the makers throwing away the earlier movie’s flawed charm.

4/10 – a big budget swords & sandals flick converted to one dimension

Clash of the Titans is in cinemas now, rated 12A