If you buy records based entirely on NPR recommendations, I bet you end up with a copy of ‘Dracula is Only the Beginning’. For a band that take their name from a mostly forgotten Disney movie about a dead-last-finishing Jamaican bobsled team, Coolrunnings sound exactly like you’d expect they would – monochromatic, hollowed-out indie rock with a cutesy streak, good for attracting bright teenagers and manchild hipsters, but not for much else.

There’s a reason we pushed Freelance Whales to the side a couple years ago; we as a universal culture demand substance, not oozy woozy ‘I Can Be Dreamy’, not rumble-fart ‘Thunderbirds’. Coolrunnings are the type of band that make the unacquainted world think our scene sucks. The game doesn’t need their glee, their music, or their facial hair. It’s just impossible to fall for this thing twice.

By Luke Winkie

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