THE BEGINNING

We asked a bunch of recording artists who the most famous person they’ve met is

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Olga Bell of Dirty Projectors and Nothankyou
… ‘met’ Ad-Rock
“Last January I was lucky enough to go to a party at the Museum of Natural History, where I ‘met’ Adam Horovitz (Ad-Rock) of the Beastie Boys. I’m putting ‘met’ in quotes because I spent about an hour in a corner of the room gulping wine and nervously rehearsing what I would say. When finally the room cleared enough for me to stumble over, blurting out how very important the Beastie Boys had been in my life, what an honour it was to meet him, etc. etc., I started to cry—completely unplanned! I am not a hysterical crier and I’ve met celebrities before, but there I was…blubbering. Then I began gesticulating wildly in an attempt to dissipate some of the emotion and I nearly knocked Kim Gordon’s drink out of her hands as she walked by. Not the most shining moment of cool, but a pretty good story.”

Eddy Frankel of Fair Ohs
… met Miles Davis and not Ernest Hemingway
“Well, there was the time that I thought I met Ernest Hemingway as a kid. I rushed to find a Hemingway novel for him to autograph only for him to go, “lol, not really, I just have a beard lol!”, so fuck that guy. I didn’t even know who Hemingway was, so the joke’s on him. But I did meet Miles Davis when I was about 5 and shook his leathery hand. Apparently he said I was a cute kid, so who knows, romance could’ve blossomed.”

Gus Unger-Hamilton of ∆
… met Ted Danson
“It’s hard for me to choose just one of my amazing celebrity encounters to write about. At Coachella, Warren Ellis asked me where the taco stand was; Thom Yorke almost broke his stride to tell me he was going to watch Public Enemy at Glastonbury; and as I write this, only last night A$AP Rocky enquired of me if our bus was Diplo’s, only to turn on his heels and wander off when I said no. But earlier this year I actually made it past the gate of a celebrity’s house, when Johnny Flynn (who I’d met for lunch in Brooklyn) invited me back to Ted Danson’s. Given my previous failures meeting my idols, my answer was less ‘Yes please’ than ‘Yes obviously.’ It’s safe to say that everyone in Alt-J is a borderline-obsessive Curb Your Enthusiasm fan. On our first trip to LA together last year we couldn’t believe how ‘Curb’ the place really felt – it wouldn’t have surprised any of us to see Larry and Jeff ambling past us in their natural environment, mid-debate and in search of nosh. There’s not much of a story to my encounter with Ted – we sat in his garden with his wife Mary and a couple of dogs for an hour or so, drinking prosecco, and I tried to control my the urge to ask him questions about Larry David. Ted was just as awesome and friendly as I knew he would be. Now I’m off to find Johnny Marr’s dressing room to see if he wants to hear how great I think The Smiths are.”

Brandon Welchez of Crocodiles
… met Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake
“Years before Crocodiles, Charles and I were touring in an old punk band of ours. We had played LA and after the gig went to get food at a hamburger place in Hollywood. The bars were letting out at the same time and a very drunk Cameron Diaz and a more sober Justin Timberlake came in with an entourage of bodyguards and hanger on dorks. Cameron walked by our table to go to the bathroom and I asked her if we could take a picture with her and Justin and she put her chewing gum in my French fries. We had a short verbal altercation where she let me know how ugly I was and I let her know what a shit actress she is. She walked back to her group and told Justin what had happened and he motioned for me to go over to him. He put his nose about an inch from mine and said “Why you being cute?” and sort of bumped me with his chest. At this point all I could think about was how rich I would be if Justin Timberlake beat me up. He and I also exchanged plenty of words; some choice selections were him calling me a “cunt” and me saying “fuck you, Mouseketeer” to him. By this point our respective crews were seconds away from a massive brawl so the staff at the restaurant called the police and we all went our separate ways to avoid arrest. One funny note: while Justin and I were having our altercation a fan walked up to him and asked him for a picture and he pushed him away and said “I’m doing something!” What a tit. If this story sounds unbelievable you can verify with Wes from Cold Cave or Brian from the Soft Pack as they were both there and also involved in the situation.”

Josh Kolenik of Small Black
… met Kiefer Sutherland
“Met a tipsy Kiefer Sutherland getting off the Eurostar in Paris one time. Inexplicably my bud John befriended him and we proceeded to a cafe for a few pints. This was during his 24-hour party era where Kief was on top of his game. I remember he kept repeating the phrase, ‘Bless your heart brothers’ to us, while we were working up the courage to ask him about Lost Boys.”

Jamie Lee of MONEY
… met Mark E. Smith
“I met Mark E. Smith when I was being interviewed for a magazine in Manchester. When I arrived to meet the man who was going to be doing the interview he told me that he had just seen Smith walking down the street, a rare sight in the centre of Manchester – normally he keeps to the pubs in Prestwich. We decided that we would go and seek him out. When we got to the Fringe bar at the bottom of Ancoats he was sat in a shadow with a towel on his head. I went over to him, he said, “I recognise you.” I asked for his phone number. He obliged. “079… 079…666…” I looked at him expectedly. I noticed he had missed a despicable tuft of hair at the bottom of his lip whilst shaving his beard. “That’s it.” “You’re missing a few digits there, Mark.” “It’s a landline,” he said. “You’re holding all the cards here, Mark.” I look at him like a madman because I am drunk and forgot half my face at home that day. He is afraid. I leave. He undoes his belt. The world turns.”

Gang Colours
… met David Gray
“I was fortunate enough to be approached by David Gray last year. He sent me an email after a friend of his had introduced my music to him. We soon got together at his beautiful house in Hampstead Heath and then things progressed to his huge, awe inspiring studio in North London which has been converted from a church.  He struck me as an extremely humble and enthusiastic guy, and was even kind enough to let me record some gospel singers in his incredible studio, which has been used for a track called ‘Why Didn’t You Call?’ from my new album.”

Frankie Rose
… met everyone else
“It is hard to say who the most famous person is that I have met… for a brief while, when I first moved to New York City, I did food delivery on a bicycle for a fancy French restaurant in Chelsea. I delivered a croque madame to Tim Robbins (he was very nice) and a cheeseburger to Steve Buscemi. “7 dollars for French fries” he exclaimed, then he gave me a giant tip. I once asked Sandra Bullock for directions on the street and Cheech Marin opened a door for me. The pay at that job was terrible, but something like that happening was always a perk!”dot

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