The best piece of advice you’ve been given
Don’t eat yellow snow.

Your favourite word
Zamboni.

Your pet-hate
Parakeets.

If you could only eat one food forever, it would be…
Corn on the cob.

The worst job you’ve had
I worked in the box office of a theatre. People who are buying tickets to the theatre are vicious and won’t listen to reason.

The film you can quote the most of
Clan of the Cave Bear.

Your favourite place in the world
The toilet. It’s the only place where peace and quiet are available.

Your style icon
Janet Reno

The one song you wished you’d written
‘Let’s Dance’ by David Bowie

The most famous person you’ve met
I met Elton John at his place in London. He couldn’t have been lovelier.

The thing you’d rescue from a burning building
A pin cushion I made for my mother at vacation bible school.

The worst date you’ve been on
A guy showed up at my apartment in NYC to pick me up and left without a word while I was putting on my coat.

Your guilty pleasure
Undermining others’ confidence.

Your first big extravagance
Is a decent mattress extravagant?

The worst present you’ve received
‘The Complete Ann Coulter’.

The characteristic you most like about yourself
The ability to seem like I’m listening/that I care.

Your hidden talent
Extreme crocheting.

Your favourite item of clothing
Corduroy thigh-highs.

Your biggest disappointment
Cathedral cheddar no longer being available in Iceland.

The celebrity that pissed you off the most even though you’ve never met them
Too many to count.

Your biggest fear
Locust plague.

The best book in the world
The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kosinsky.

People’s biggest misconception about yourself
That I am compassionate and kind.

Who would play you in a film of your life?
Linda Hunt.

What is success to you?
A region-free Blu-Ray player.

What talent do you wish you had?
Pop and lock dancing.

How would you choose to die?
Being eaten alive by hyenas.

What is the most overrated thing in the world?
Cheesecake Factory.

What, if anything, would you change about your physical appearance?
I would have cro-magnon shelf reduction.

What’s your biggest turn-off?
Complete lack of self-awareness, which, incidentally, is also my biggest turn-on.

What would you tell your 15-year-old self?
“You think this is bad? Stick around.”

Your best piece of advice for others
Wash your hands.