Kathryn Joseph
From When I Wake The Want Is

(Rock Action)


There comes a point, after living with pain for so long, when you just become numb to it. You submit to living with the trauma because the alternative – confronting it – is that much more terrifying. ‘From When I Wake The Want Is’, the follow up to Kathryn Joseph’s Scottish Album of the Year Award-winning debut, was written during a year of utter heartbreak and follows her descent into the darkest realms of her own psyche. On it she truly reckons with her sorrow, and emerges stronger for it.

Guiding us through her gnarled mind, Joseph’s burdens are eased as they become our own. Brutally candid, almost uncomfortably so, there is no pretence of joy here; every moment of respite is muzzled by darkness. A severe piano melody overwhelms placid drums on ‘Tell My Lover’, as Joseph sings about obsessive love. “Tell my lover it’s not over until we drown,” she declares with a chilling vibrato, her grief hits hard. Haunting the album like a nightmare, her inability to let go wrings its most tragic moments. “How do I let go of all this fucking love,” she asks weakly on the title track – knowing full well she can’t.

Since writing ‘From When I Wake The Want Is’ Joseph has climbed out of her personal abyss, though the spectre of her pain lingers. The album lays all her wounds bare as she faces down, and eventually casts off, her own despair. Her heart has mended, but the scars are permanent.

Support Loud And Quiet from £3 per month and we'll post you our next 9 magazines

As all of us are constantly reminded, it’s getting harder for independent publishers to stay in business, which applies to Loud And Quiet more now than ever, 14 years after we first started printing a magazine that we’ve always given away for free.

Having thought about the best way to support our running costs (the printing and distribution fees, the podcast and production costs etc.) we’d like to ask our readers who really enjoy what we do to subscribe to our next 9 issues over the next 12 months. The cheapest we can afford to do this for works out at £3 per month for UK subscribers, charged yearly.

If that seems like a bit of a punt, you can pay-as-you-go for £4 per month and cancel any time you like. European and world plans are available too, at the lowest rate we can afford.

It’s not just a donation – you’ll receive a physical copy of our magazine through your door and some extra perks detailed on our subscribe page. Digital subscriptions are available worldwide for £15 per year. We hope you consider this a good deal and the best way to keep Loud And Quiet in your life without its content, independence or existence suffering.