Don't suffer in silence – 'Mr Showbiz' is here to put all your festival worries at ease
Normally you’d see him hypnotising jubilant crowds performing with his saxophone-clasping ‘business partner’ Roy Molloy or sleeping in a KFC parking lot, but Australian showstopper Alex Cameron is a wise man of many talents. He’s also graced more festivals than the unfortunate person who drives the poo truck around hosing down all the portable toilets. When it comes to music in a field he is an experienced sage. He’s also playing this year’s End of the Road festival. So, who better to answer your festival questions/dilemmas/curiosities before it all takes place in Dorset at the end of August? The answer is no-one.
Father John Misty is headlining EOTR this year. I love his new album, but Jesus Christ, it’s dark. What I’m saying is, when is it ok to cry at a music festival?
(Ian Tanker, Exeter)
I can’t think of a circumstance where it’s not OK to cry. It’s more about how you do it. Are you crying for humanity? Or for yourself? Are you crying on account of you brutalising an animal when you were a kid and it keeps you up at night? Or are you crying because you got a trash pile of insurmountable personal shortcomings? Divorce? Death in the family? Jubilation? Love? Pop a tear pal. Let em have it. If no one comes to comfort you just B line for the medical tent and pretend you took a bad ecstasy tablet. They’ll hug you. I pulled that move at the 2006 Big Day out in Sydney and I’m fine today.
At End Of The Road there are no VIP areas. It makes me nervous that I might find myself stood next to a famous person. If that person was you, how should I act?
(Jennifer Framp, Woking)
Jennifer, if you see me, I’d like to speak to you. Just don’t approach me from behind and make sure you’re clear that we’ve never met before. As for my business partner and saxophone player Roy Molloy, he’s a conversational genius. Go nuts. Ask him about his childhood. He’s got a great story that involves a waterslide and the urine of women.
I’ve just started learning the acoustic guitar and have ‘Scar Tissue’ pretty much down. It’s appropriate that I bring it to the festival for the campsite, right?
(Gareth Meakon, Kent)
Bring the guitar but learn yourself a better song. Like ‘How Bizarre’ or something from Jack Johnson’s prolific earlier years. Then you should smash the guitar against a wall and use it for firewood. Keep a sharp piece of the neck under your pillow for self defence reasons.