Going to a festival can be overwhelming at the best of times, but especially when it’s as stacked as End of the Road is. The lineup is ridiculous, there are arts and crafts to do, people to laugh at (some of them comedians), loads of lovely food and there are peacocks wandering about. Where do you begin with a weekend like that?

Well, fear not. As veterans of EOTR, we know how to enjoy it properly. So here’s our EOTR 2022 field guide – if you finish the weekend having caught a glimpse of all of these artists, weirdos and legends, you’ll have had a good time. More info and day splits on the festival website. 

The silliest-sounding lineup of the weekend 

Joe and the Shitboys, followed by Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs open the festival on Thursday, followed by the legendary opening Time Hop Silent Disco, hosted and trademarked by our very selves. Come along, get over excited and ruin the following day for yourself.  

Tipi, Thursday

The cover stars of this magazine

It’s an obvious one, but you really should see Jockstrap. They’re really, really good. Debut album I Love You Jennifer B is one of the most eclectic and invigorating records of the year, and their live show just gets better every time. Don’t miss it. 

The Boat, Saturday

That guy off Twitter

You know the one who films himself in his flat in Deptford doing impressions of celebrities. No, not the posh one. No, not the one who always pretends to be a Tory MP. No, not the other posh one. Yeah, the other one. The one who’s actually quite funny. Alistair Green, that’s it.

Talking Heads, Saturday

The EOTR curator’s day of cinema

Founder and curator of End of the Road, Simon Taffe, has programmed Sunday’s schedule in the cinema tent. He knows his way around a lineup, and with the likes of Licorice Pizza and Summer of Soul among his selections, it’ll be a nice break from the music if you need it.

Cinema, Sunday

Ringo: Music Bingo in the Cider Bus

We don’t know either tbh, but music, bingo and drinking are all nice and fun, so this will probably be worth a punt. 

Cider Bus, Friday

The L&Q stage

Always keen to make ourselves the centre of attention, we’ve commandeered the Big Top on Sunday and filled it with a load of our favourite bands, including Yard Act, SCALPING and Deathcrash. Look out for the cool dudes near the front – we’ll be just behind them if you want to say hello.

Big Top, Sunday 

That naked man from last year

You know the one who wandered across the Garden Stage area first thing each morning? Who looked a bit like Gandalf with his knob out? Was I the only one who saw him?

Anywhere, anytime

Naima Bock in The Garden

Once the nude wizard has done his rounds, you can safely re-enter the Garden for Naima Bock. Her debut album Giant Palm is a lush, understated gem – perfect for an afternoon set in one of EOTR’s most beautiful spots. 

Garden Stage, Friday

Wake Up Singing

Can you think of anything better for your hangover than getting up to sing loudly with a load of strangers in a forest? Well, it’s there if you change your mind. 

Wonderlawns, every morning

The Chisel

If Wake Up Singing doesn’t blow away the cobwebs, The Chisel will take care of that. UK hardcore punk from the DIY scene that gave us Chubby and the Gang, they don’t mess about. 

Tipi, Sunday